Sometimes the person best placed to write an obituary is not a spouse or a child but a friend. Maybe your friend had no close family left, or none nearby, or none who could face the words. Maybe you were simply the person who knew them best — the one who had the stories, the dates, the photograph everyone would want. Whatever brought you here, know that a friend's hand on an obituary is not second-best. Some of the truest obituaries ever written were written by a best friend.
Writing as a friend gives you a particular freedom: you can lead with who they actually were, unfiltered by family formality. You knew their real laugh, their worst jokes, the cause they'd argue about all night, the way they showed up for people. "He was the friend who helped you move, twice, and never once mentioned it again" tells a reader more than a résumé ever could. Start there, with the person, and let the facts follow.
A few practical notes. If you know the family details — parents, siblings, a partner, surviving relatives — include them in the traditional survivor list, and it is gracious to note the wider circle too: "He is survived by his sister, Karen, and by the friends who were his chosen family." If you don't have all the facts, write what you know and mark the gaps honestly rather than guessing at dates. And do float the draft past anyone closer to the family, if there is anyone, before it runs — not to change your voice, but to catch the details grief and distance can blur.
Below are three templates — a traditional obituary, a short newspaper form, and one plainly in a friend's voice — followed by a guided writer that will assemble a draft from a few questions. Write it the way they'd want to be remembered: honestly, warmly, and with at least one story that makes people laugh at the funeral.
Fill-in-the-blank templates
Copy a template, then replace each [bracketed detail] with your own. Cut anything that doesn’t fit — these are starting points, not rules.
Traditional obituary for a friend
[Full Name], [Age], of [City, State], passed away [Date]. [He/She/They] [was/were] born [Birth Date] in [Birthplace].
[Name] worked for [Number] years as a [Occupation], but was known even better for [what they were known for — e.g., "showing up, every time, for everyone"]. [He/She/They] loved [things they loved — e.g., "vinyl records, bad puns, and long arguments about nothing"]. [One concrete detail or story.]
[He/She/They] [is/are] survived by [known family — e.g., "a sister, Name"] and by a wide circle of friends who counted [him/her/them] as chosen family. [If applicable: preceded in death by Names.]
A gathering to remember [Name] will be held at [Time] on [Date] at [Location]. [In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to [Charity].]
Short newspaper obituary for a friend
[Last Name], [First Name], [Age], of [City], died [Date]. [Occupation, one phrase.] Survived by [known family and] a devoted circle of friends. [One line about what they loved or how they'll be remembered.] Gathering [Time], [Date], [Location]. Memorials to [Charity].
From a friend — remembering my friend
My friend, [Full Name], died on [Date], at [Age]. I'm writing this because I knew [him/her/them] as well as anyone did, and because [he/she/they] deserves to be remembered by someone who loved [him/her/them].
We met [where/how — e.g., "at a job neither of us kept, twenty years ago, and never lost touch after"]. [Name] was [qualities — e.g., "loyal to a fault, funny on purpose, and generous in ways most people never saw"]. [He/She/They] [what they did for people — e.g., "was the first call in a crisis and the last to leave a party"]. If you were lucky enough to be [his/her/their] friend, you already know all of this.
[Name] leaves behind [known family, if any, and] all of us — the friends who were, in every way that counts, [his/her/their] family.
Come raise a glass and tell a story at [Time] on [Date] at [Location]. [He/She/They] would have hated a solemn affair. Let's not give [him/her/them] one.
Tips for writing a friend’s obituary
A friend writing the obituary is not second-best — some of the truest ones are.
Lead with who they really were; you're free of family formality, so use it.
Include known family in the survivor list, and honor the "chosen family" of friends too.
Write only what you know for certain — mark gaps honestly rather than guessing dates.
If anyone is closer to the family, let them check the details before it runs.
Or let the writer compose it for you
The guided writer below is pre-filled with fictional sample details so you can see how it works — replace them with your friend’s. It composes a complete obituary in your browser, free and private.
Write a friend's obituary
Answer what you can and skip what you can’t — every field is optional. Composed entirely in your browser; nothing you type is uploaded.